Petition for Hot Ladies on the TV Box.

as a huge ANTM fan, i can't help but notice a trend in contestants. obviously most of the girls are tall and very skinny, as that is the aesthetic of the supermodel... and then they have the "plus size" contestant who is much, much larger. this is great, and i guess kinda helps to break the mold when it comes to the look of fashion models, but is probably largely for added drama-lama. my question is: where are all the average girls? the 6/8 and 10/12 girls who don't look like sticks but also don't fit into the "plus size" category. i know there are a lot of them. i know that when i'm at the mall checking out a sale rack i'm picking through piles of XS and XL clothing-- the least popular sizes. i can only assume that ANTM's viewers largely fall into this category of size S-L so why the hell can't they be represented in some way?

okay, okay. so i'm not that naive. i know that average people make for bad tv, and i ALSO know that fashion models tend to be ug-mos. with no hips for baby-bearing and no tits for suckling. (yeah i totally said suckling). so here is my proposition for reality TV executives. (they have the internets in hell right?)

Dear Reality TV Demons:

Girls with hips and tits and asses are really hot. Actually let me be clearer...REAL TITS. and trust me, real big tits can still make money in this world. So here we go. My brilliant idea for awesome reality tv. Next Top Pin-Up Model. Pin ups are totally in. Lets find the next Betty Page. Everyone and their Hot-Topic obsessed nerdy brother loves Betty Page. Hooray for exploiting alternative culture!

This is a show that i desperately need to watch/compete on. and to be truly successful, nipples have to be involved. So none of that blurring crap that i have to put up with on The Girls Next Door. This is why we have channels like Showcase.

Sincerely,

Merlot


People watch ANTM and other model shows because they idolize the ladies, or at least their size. when really, models aren't hot. and i'd like to see more hot girls on TV. Thank for coming out.

PS now that tyra is all fried chicken legs, she'd win next top pin up in a heartbeat so don't let her try out.

To STD's, With Love.

So, I've been thinking. STD's have a really bad reputation. But you know what? I don't think having Chlamydia would be all that bad. So, you have to pee in a cup and fill an embarrassing prescription. Take some antibiotics and PRESTO! no more Chlamydia. I would trade my scoliosis for a case of chlamydia any day, hell make it two cases. In fact, cancel my sinus infection this winter and reschedule a date with Chlamydia.

Why stop at Chlamydia? Gonorrhea is just as good. Instead of getting my yearly infection of strep throat, i could mix it up; i could go down on some sorority slut instead and end up with the same sore throat but without the fever. Plus, i got to pleasure a stupid rich girl. Am i crazy or is that a definite upgrade?

Fuck i think even Syphilis is easily treated as long as you catch it early. I think i'd rather treat Syphilis then, oh, lets say, pass a kidney stone. Or suffer from migraines.

In short, STD's really aren't that bad.** People only fear them because they don't want their friends to think they sleep with crusty crack whores behind the 7/11. But the STD does not show mercy to anyone-- not even celebrities. I bet Jessica Alba has peed in a cup more than once.

And I would let her give me Chlamydia any day.







**Herpes and Warts still really suck. Also AIDS.