Alcomohol: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Drunk.

Its 1AM. I am alone. I am listening to Mika and Lily Allen. I am facebooking. I am drinking.

Welcome to my monday through sunday night. And I use the term "night" loosely.

It wasn't always like this. Back in high school I would spend my nights taking webcam pictures of myself while listening to bright eyes and generally brooding in my parent's basement. I was alone, yes, but see, I was sober. I didn't go to parties. I never drank, nor did i have any real interest in drinking. In fact, I considered myself....."sXe". Looking back, i remember reading that you could not be considered a real "sXe" unless you had actually been a drinker and made the choice to stop. This was probably a good call. You also probably shouldn't make this decision at 15 because, what the fuck do 15 year olds know about whats good for them?

Long story short, one day I had a shot of whiskey and I never looked back. Slowly I realized that alcohol was not a monster, ready to make me do stupid shit and puke all over my goth boots from Walmart. Nope. Alcohol was a wonderful friend. I had better sex drunk. I had better discussions drunk. I laughed more. I loved more. It made me chiiiiill, winston.

I was still a lightweight going into college. I drank enough, but i hadn't had the high school practice. But i was never too dumb. I went to bed spinning but never threw up in a res hallway or woke up in a stranger's bed. At the beginning of second year, I started my official drinking training. I started a job as a shooter girl. And i didn't just sell pussy bitch shots, I had jager, goldschlager and sambuca. which, for your reference, are 35, 40 and 35ish percents respectively. You make better tips (and have a better time) as a shooter girl if you get people to buy you the hard shots, because (contrary to popular belief) guys like a girl that can hold her liquor. So i did. And couple months worth of killer hang overs later, I could drink with the best of them. You learn to be a competent drunk pretty quickly when you're holding 400 dollars.

My boy and I also moved in together in second year, and since his love of the drink is (if you can believe it) more profound than mine, we learned the pleasures of drinking together. Whether watching movies, tv or having discussions about nearly anything, a drink was not far from our reach. Some couples play tennis, others go to therapy, we drank. And we managed to do this regularly considering I was making mad cash from getting drunk at my job.

Those were the freakin days.

I was getting some.

And I wasn't drinking alone.

Since May, its just been me in our little apartment, while my drinking partner in crime is up nord making summer scrilla. I'm not working as a shooter girl anymore, and as can be expected, my tolerance is not quite what it was. Neither is my cash flow, so its probably a good thing i can get a buzz on from a fairly strong cosmopolitan or appletini. I guess the idea of getting drunk by yourself in a small apartment on a fairly regular basis seems sad, but its not really all that bad. All of the famous writers did. (EVERY SINGLE ONE) Of course, they tended to write literary masterpieces while they drank and all i can do i manage to write a blog entry about booze, but thats besides the point.

The point is.

Fuck it. I'm too drunk.

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!! *swings gleefully from balcony*